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21 March T-shirt SlogansThese are funny. (I'm bored, sorry)
It starts with F Why do the weirdos
It ends in OFF always sit next to me?
It's got UCK in the middle
Do I look like a Well aren't we just a
fucking people person? ray of bloody sunshine?
I can see your point, You say I'm a bitch
but I still think you're like it's a bad thing
full of shit
Ah... I see the To save time later
fuck-up fairy lets just assume
has visited again I know everything
How can I miss you Of course I don't look busy...
if you won't go away? I did it right the first time
Any connection between I'll try being nicer
your reality and mine If you try being smarter
is purely coincidental
BACK OFF! Chaos, Panic and Disorder...
You're standing My work here is done
in my aura
I don't ask for much. Accept that somedays
Just my own way. you are the pidgeon
and somedays the statue
Don't ask me, FUCKING HOSTILE
I don't give a shit
It's spelt Touch me and
F U C K I'll kill you
you idiot
If your dick was as big
as your mouth
I'd be interested 19 March I don't normally...I don't normally put photos of Mia on here, simply because, well the obvious.
Anyway, I just love these so here they are.
(She looks too much like me in the one where she isn't smiling!!) 13 March They can't hear what I'm saying.I wan't moaning about being a mum in my last blog like some people thought. Being a mum is what I do best right now. That wasn't what I was saying, at all.
"I wanted to be like you I didn't know that it was so cold If you want to I'm sinking slowly If you want to All you wanted was somebody who cares If you want to Please can you tell me *Michelle Branch, All You Wanted 28 February For Mia, of course.I hit a brick wall today.
And for those of you who know me, no I did not literally smash my head up on, drive into or walk into a brick wall. Shockingly.
I was doing fine. My day was normal. But I think, I've just come crashing down.
It was lunch time, the gas man had just left and I was standing infront of the microwave heating up some of left over veg lasagne (that I made from scratch, I might add) and I burst into tears.
I can't explain it. My head felt like it was going to explode and I was just crying.
I keep saying that my life is never going to get any better, or change, unless I change it. And today... I just felt. Feel. So ashamed, so disappointed with myself. I don't respect the person that I am anymore.
A year ago I would never have stepped outside without making sure I looked alright, a bit of makeup, nice clothes etc.
I know that make up and clothes aren't important, but they are how I express how I'm feeling about myself, emotionally and physically. Now, I barely put make up on once a week.
The brick wall is my realisation that that drive I had in my life, the drive to pick myself up every morning and say to myself "yeah, you're doing alright. You're coping." It vanished or rather I erased it.
I need to get it back. Only me.
In my previous blogs I've been talking of my loneliness and that I like certain guys... well I am lonely. To a point. I'm happy not being with anyone at the moment. Infact I think it would be the worst thing for me. I can't depend on anyone else right now. I need to get up on my feet and feel proud of myself again.
No man is going to drive me to do that.
Only me. For Mia, of course. 12 February Rant, rant, rant...He's blowing on me again, not ignoring me anymore. He sucks. Make up your mind damn you!!!!!!!!!!I'm forever asking why. I can never seem to solve my own problems...so here it is;
Why is it that no matter how many times I swear to myself that I will not like or get involved in any sort of situation with guys that are a) complete twats b) mess me around with "I like you, but its wrong" crap or c) the ones I just should so not like because they are a combination of the former two, that I still get randomly kissed, pulled back into thinking about things...and liking people again..? Why do I let it happen? I know if he kissed me again, I'd kiss him back. I know I'd do it all again. Even though it's pointless..and not even realistic.
I have a list of guys I fancy but don't really know, guys I fancy but I know they don't return the feeling so am fine being friends with and then there are the guys who totally fuck my head up... I dunno just because they know I like them and are bored or something...
Love was so much easier a few years ago. I wasn't such a brick wall.
The thing is, the problem that I have about this one guy, I've liked him for quite a long time now. And he gives me butterflies in my tummy. Honestly. Thats been a long time gone...
So it's confusing me. My head is saying forget it, it's a waste of time. But my stomach is proving my, obvious to everyone, feelings.
Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Why do I have to like him..?
Why couldn't I like someone where there is a chance... 2 February Older Vs Younger guys? Is it a question of ageism, compromise or standards?I very rarely view the idea of being with an older guy as a plus point. It's no surprise that with as fussy as I am, if his birth date is past a certain year, I close off any option other than friendship.
I don't like to see myself as an ageist but the idea of being with a guy more than 6-7 years older than me just screams of loss of freedom and my own identity.
I feel appalled at myself for even thinking to say this now, but I just can't imagine having to compromise my youth for someone elses years. I don't think I would ever love someone that much.
My impossibly high standards don't help. If I like a guy, then that is the only type that I will then be attracted to, until they reveal their twat-ish tendencies and I move on, of course.
I sound so up my own arse right now, it's unbelieveable. I dunno... I don't want to be with a younger guy, my life couldn't handle it. I don't want to be with a really older guy, as I can't handle it.
I want a guy who is just right. Why is that so hard to have?
However, Becka, if you must be insistent on believing I would do better with a guy at least 5-6 years older then any that look these older guys (See photos) will be fine....
 (P.'s I'm not actually obssessed or anything, they are just stunning.)
30 January I even see myself this way...***Slow and Steady***
Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder.
It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment.
They expect you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then usually decide against it.
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